LOADING....
I want 2 c a show of hands....how many of u r tired of looking for a freakin' job? Are u tired of looking 4 a better job or r u currently jobless and shit out of luck? Well if u meet these "qualifications" and u have the "requirements" that at least hit the minimum of frustration, hopelessness, and apathy than by all means READ ON!
AIMING....
Not that I am currently 1 of those people out of work, but trust me I know how ugly shit can get when you've been looking for work 4 a while. Boy o boy the things that fly out of an employers mouth and ass when they tell u that the job opening is no longer available or someone else came along and magically took what was rightfully yours. I sympathize....really I do! U c, all of these employers right now are goning ape shit over the 200+ applications they get 4 1 job opening. Gee, 200+ jobs, one position available, now u do the math 199 mother fuckers wont be very happy. And here we have the conspiracy theorists, the economic experts, and the fortune tellers predicting that we r about 2 enter a second version of the Great Depression! Weeeee.....I can hardly wait!
But seriously, how many of u r tired of staring at a computer screen ALL DAY? How many of u r tired of the RIGGED 9 to 5 rat race so that u can pay your bills? How many of u r stuck in shitty jobs where no one seems to appreciate what u do? Well, this job market....if u can call it that has seen better days! And to think, I heard that we r actually in a recovery right now. Someone in Washington is pulling some sick fucking prank because there is NO recovery going on!
AND FIRE!
Have u ever noticed any of this bullshit?
1. Those stupid questionnaires and assessments that take place after a online application is completed- Talk about a complete fucking waste of time! What is the point of these questions? They ask such things like "Do u prefer to work alone....You generally got good grades in school....All of your friends ask you for advice 1st....Your supervisor was generally someone that you could depend on. Bullshit! This is simply your opinion versus the company opinion. So what if u like to work alone or in teams? So what if u got good or bad grades in school GPA, has little to do with work performance. They need to take this shit away ASAP
2. Knowing that u r qualified for a job and still not getting the job!- Are u serious? U took the time to apply for it and u can do it with a blindfold on and your hands behind your back! U mean 2 tell me some other mother fucker came out no where and just snatched up that job like fat man in a pastery joint? Ain't that a bitch!
3. A low end job with too many requirements- Ever see those section eight housing jobs with a million requirements but offers u few benefits and a very low wage. People we have modern slavery in this nation if u sign up for that!
4. Employers don't call back- Here u r leaving all of your contact info and the assholes cant even call u back 2 let u know if u got the job or not! U were damn near ready 2 send smoke signals just to get some attention so that u could have the job faster and they cant take 5 minutes to say "Hi"!
5. Everyone else magically has a job but u!- Ever notice that your friends, family and total strangers seem to have everything they need but u go without? Strange shit I say!
6. U never committed a crime- filled out the application accurately, and sent in a well constructed resume/cover letter. Here u are pulling out all the big guns with nothing that can possibly hold you back and your still not moving on.
7.U lack experience- Fuck it!
8. U have experience but still can't get the job- Double Fuck it!
9. The job is nothing like u thought it was going to b once u finally get it- Too boring? Too slow? Too little money? Too little respect? Too much work? Too easy? Too hard? Too dirty, thankless, and unfurfilling? TOO BAD!
10. Work sucks anyway- Damn straight it is. Unless u r at your dream job or currently working to get there, work is the number one killer of dreams. I think the whole system is rigged anyway and employment is just another form of modern day slavery regardless of skin color.
Now if you'll excuse me, I gotta go back and talk shit with the other slaves so that the asswipe boss will THINK that we r at work....sucker.
Good luck finding something worth while in this shithole economy!
BLAM!
